I really don't like New Year's resolutions. They make me quite anxious.
Every year I wonder: What would I change or do differently next year? And like everyone else, I also have a few things. I want to be fitter, healthier, and stronger. I want to travel more and see new places. Drink more water, etc.
So, January first comes around, and I am jacked up and ready to go. I can't wait to start this new journey. New year, new me. And so it goes for a few weeks.
But as always, I stop and don't complete anything.
New year, same me.
It's hard. New year, new me. That's a lot of pressure. And what does that even mean?
New me. I feel like we all say it and try it, but we don't really understand the impact.
I can barely deal with the current me. A new me is going to be impossible.
And still, I mentally sign myself up for all of these things. Do this, to that. Try this, try that. Blah, blah, blah.
Every year I think that I can do it all.
But I can't.
Inevitably, the long list gives me anxiety, and when I fail to complete the list, it makes me feel like a failure, which is a horrible feeling for someone who is really hard on herself.
I also tend to give up and move on, which I know now is part of my ADD.
But anyway, that's a story for another day.
The reason a new year's resolution list makes me anxious is because it is so daunting. and it can seem unattainable. It's also very overwhelming, and when I am overwhelmed, I can sometimes shut down. Not completing a task is like standing in front of the mirror, pointing at myself, and saying, "I knew it, so why bother trying?"
and that's hard.
So I have made the decision that instead of making a New Year's resolution list for 2023, I will continue with what started this year and do what I can next year. A mind-shift from "new year, new me" to something a little bit more attainable. Something like 2023 and me
and that can mean whatever I need it to mean.
I will continue to exercise and focus on eating healthier food and not skipping any meals. I will also continue to make time to read and write.
But there are two things I would like to add because these things are important. Firstly, I need to make more time for my family and friends, and that includes the very simple task of replying to all my messages, even when I am overwhelmed, and secondly, I need to make time for myself.
I heard someone say once that you cannot give some of yourself to others when you don't have anything to give. Taking care of myself means that I can share the best parts of myself with those that matter most.
Being burned out and unhappy are not parts of myself I care to share with others. and it's a burden I don't want to carry. I want to be my best self.
When 2023 comes around, I will be thankful for the opportunities it provides. Entering a new year is a blessing, and I will not waste it.
Cheers to you, me, and the new year, 2023!
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